I don't really know if anyone will read this. I write this more to get things off my chest. Some already know what I am about to say. Two weeks ago today, I did the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Mike and I separated and I packed up everything I hold dear and moved out of my home. Things were not working anymore, and events happened that can't be taken back. I just hit a point when I asked myself "Why am I putting myself through this? Why am I staying?" The only answer I could give myself was that 'this' wasn't healthy, and I need to get out of here. I am not here to bash, or point any fingers. Everything that happened isn't for everyone to know.
I know it sounds stupid, but I feel like a failure. Sometimes life isn't fair, and I feel like right now I got screwed. This wasn't suppose to happen, not to me. Course, that's what most people think when something bad happens isn't it. I just try and get through each day, and remind myself I have to breathe. I try and put myself back together piece by piece and tell myself I can get through this. I am lucky enough to have wonderful family and friends. It sometimes takes bad things in life to remind you how many people love and care about you.
I don't really know what will happen from here. I still feel like I am wondering around lost most of the time. I just hope to end up somewhere good, happy, and safe in the end.
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2 comments:
Teresa-
I don't know exactly what happened, and it's not for me to know... But I do want you to know I'm thinking of you and I think what you did- walking away from an unhealthy situation- was one of the bravest things possible. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to walk away from your home and everything you know and have built up for yourself...
You're going to be okay, though. You proved it by being able to take that step- how strong you are.
You are NOT a failure. Things like this happen to the best of people, and you can't blame yourself for situations that aren't entirely in your control. After all, it takes two people's efforts to support a relationship. *Hugs* to you, girl. Sending my love your way.
You are the bravest person I know. It took alot of strength to come forward and tell us what had been going on at your home, And you have a power in you that you haven't even begun to tap into. I know it sucks to have to start over, but you are never alone in this struggle. Don't think of it as a faliure but as a step in a stronger and healthier life.And you can always count on us. We cherish you so. Love you baby girl. Mom and Dad
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