The first man asks the second man: "Where are you from?" The second man says: "I'm from Ireland [pronounced Oiland]." The first man says: "Blow me down! I'm from Ireland [Oiland] too! Let's drink another round, to Ireland." They drink.
The first man then says: "Where in Ireland are you from?" The second man says: "Dublin [Dooblin]". "I can't believe it!" says the first man. "I'm also from Dublin! Let's drink another round, to Dublin." They drink.
The first man then says: "What school did you go to?" The second man replies: "Saint Mary's. I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"
One of the regulars comes in and sits down at the bar. "What's been happening?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."
Paddy Counts His Rabbits
Paddy wanted to be an accountant, so he went and took the Irish accountancy exam.
Examiner: If I give you two rabbits and then I give you another two rabbits, how many rabbits do you have?
Paddy: Five.
Examiner: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and then I give you another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Five.
Examiner: Let's try this another way. If I give you two bottles of beer and then I give you another two bottles of beer, how many bottles of beer have you got?
Paddy: Four.
Examiner: Good! Now, if I give you two rabbits and then I give you another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Five.
Examiner: How on earth do you work out that two lots of two rabbits is five? Paddy: I've already got one rabbit at home!
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