Mini Meltdown

I have heard about "how strong I am" for leaving a certain situation. Hearing that just makes me feel like a fraud. I may give off the facade of being brave, it's really just a brave face. It's a mask, because shortly after I am the one crying behind closed doors. All so that no one knows how I am really coping. I do the best that I can, but sometimes I feel like it's not good enough. I feel my role as the eldest, as the example, as the "role model" was botched.

I am about to turn 30 very soon, too soon. I am not dealing with that very well at all. This is not where I wanted to be in my life when I hit that milestone. I keep trying to tell myself this is the point, this is when things will really turn around and I can gain my life back. The way I wanted it. I am thankful for all that I do have, don't think me wrong on that point. But there are just days when all that has happened overwhelms and envelopes me...thankfully they are less frequent. Most days I am okay, others I just fake it 'til I am okay. I can't wait until such a time comes, and they are just ghosts of my past.

My Pup

3 years ago today, I drove to the middle of no-where...after answering an ad on craigslist and some back and forth emails about an adorable 'lil dog.

Toby has literally followed me everyday since then.

Though I will admit, not even a week after getting him I was asking myself "Why, oh, why, did I get a dog?!". Emergency visits to the vet (was one sick pup when I got him), anxious and afraid of everything (he was abused by a previous owner), not housebroken, problematic back legs (was kept in a crate by someone for far too long),

he was shedding like a beast, and had no manners what-so-ever. I felt like I bit off way more then I could chew.

But after lots of vet visits, many many walks to get his legs better, and an abundance of re-training...I don't ask myself why I got him anymore. I love him to pieces. I know he is "just a dog" but they give out the most unconditional love and ask nothing in return. He has been with me through some of my worst stuff. And I feel lucky everyday that I have my lil' shadow ♥

Investigatin'

Toby...trying to figure out if that there is a rock?? or a turtle??

It's another eastern box turtle ☺

Nothing Like Homemade

Fresh out of my mom's garden was a bunch of tomatoes...what to do with so 'em...?? I made homemade salsa, was a first...and I must say, very yummy! ☺