The Difference A Year Makes

April 29th 2012 vs April 26th 2013

What a difference a year makes. Between these two photos there are a 50+ lbs, and a few sizes, difference.

Going vegan, biking, and yoga have made a big, and permanent impact on my life. I have learned a lot in the process and have made this a permanent life change. I don't ever want to go back to that other person again. Hope to lose a little bit more and then just try to maintain. I haven't been this happy with myself in my entire adult life. I met my initial goal and zoomed right on past it. Feels pretty fantastic :)

Let Me Step Up On My Soapbox

Ok, not to get too preachy, but...as much as I did love the original Superbowl commercial, this "commercial" is based around. I am not an idiot. I do know that this does MUCH more closely depict what "farming" is today. Though the voice over on this does sound extremely annoying (in my opinion), what he says, it sadly true:

 

 

Just thought I had to share.

To Be Or Not To Be...

To be vegan or not to be? Hmm...VEGAN!! For me the option was kind of simple. Since I realized not too long ago that I am indeed allergic to dairy (not lactose intolerant). And eggs make me kinda sick anyways. The only thing left to cut out was meat. And I stopped eating red meat a long time ago (just lost the taste for it).
I have managed so far, to cut meat out, pretty much completely. Other than the odd slice of chicken once in a great while (eating out can be a challenge), or a crumble of bacon that I couldn't avoid. I have gone vegan.
There was a time when I thought there was no way in hell I would ever go vegan, or vegetarian for that matter. I thought I would have to eat like a rabbit the rest of my life. And the fact that I loved chicken especially, and ate meat every day as the main course for dinner. I thought there was no way I would ever change that. Nor did I see a reason to change it. 'Til about a month or so ago, and I read a certain book (Skinny Bitch), and my outlook changed, completely! I have also watched documentaries like Forks Over Knives, Food, Inc, and Vegucated.
I am now in the process of searching out vegan recipes, as I am at a loss as to what to cook. Since my 2" 3-ring binder is 98% full of meat consuming recipes. It is all still a little new to me and I have taken to trying all sorts of new foods.
So far I am greatly enjoying the benefits! I feel SO much better! Not so tired, full of energy. I can't even stomach meat now. I get a stomach ache later. I have dropped two sizes (leaving me with less to wear, haha). And trust me, I eat plenty. I love food too much to starve. :)
I am also grateful for how supportive most of my family is about it, and how much they have tried to accommodate me when we have get-togethers. Don't think it has gone unnoticed :)
Hope to keep losing weight, and find some fancy new recipes. So far I am loving going vegan!

May I Issue A Complaint?

I am gonna issue my complaint anyway. One thing that drives me completely bonkers is being at a social gathering and all that most people do is stare at their handheld electronics!! What happened to socializing face to face??

I realize I am being a tad hypocritical by stating my complaint on here (an electronic device/the internet) as apposed to someones face. But frankly, if I did tell it to their face (and I say this with past experience). Nothing changes. So I am really just throwing my complaint out there to make myself breath easier. Venting is a must (which I again say, with MUCH past experience).

I will however add...if you would rather "facebook" me, then talk to my actual face...just stay home. *sigh*

Mini Meltdown

I have heard about "how strong I am" for leaving a certain situation. Hearing that just makes me feel like a fraud. I may give off the facade of being brave, it's really just a brave face. It's a mask, because shortly after I am the one crying behind closed doors. All so that no one knows how I am really coping. I do the best that I can, but sometimes I feel like it's not good enough. I feel my role as the eldest, as the example, as the "role model" was botched.

I am about to turn 30 very soon, too soon. I am not dealing with that very well at all. This is not where I wanted to be in my life when I hit that milestone. I keep trying to tell myself this is the point, this is when things will really turn around and I can gain my life back. The way I wanted it. I am thankful for all that I do have, don't think me wrong on that point. But there are just days when all that has happened overwhelms and envelopes me...thankfully they are less frequent. Most days I am okay, others I just fake it 'til I am okay. I can't wait until such a time comes, and they are just ghosts of my past.

Ho-Hum

Well, despite the obviously negative things that have been going on in my life. Being separated, moving from my home, and still looking for someone to give me a job. I've been trying to keep as positive as possible, also as busy as I can. Which hasn't been easy. Slowly getting a routine down here, and everyone (my pets) has gotten all settled in.

Trying for every job I can find. They are scarce down here, I keep hearing back about all the overwhelming responses employers are getting along with my own. And the only interviews I have gone on, are group interviews.
Nothing like showing up for an interview, asking for someone, being told to sit and wait, and watch 10-15 other people file in behind you, and ask for the same person!? Then have an interview with 10-15 other people in the same conference room with you. It's discouraging, but it must be done.

I am still building myself back up, and finding my footing again. Fighting my anxieties has begun to get easier. Going through all this is starting to really change me, the way I see things in this world, and the people in it. Stepping back this far has also given me a much bigger view of the way my life was a couple of months ago. I've realized I should of RUN away from it a long time ago, as fast as I could. I am just glad I am out of that situation now, instead of even later. It's hard to see how wrong, and completely upside-down things are when you are so close to it, and so far into it. Some people don't ever leave, I stayed for too long, because I was scared to leave. Facing all this, I have gotten stronger, and I will never put myself in that situation again. I would hope I see the signs way before they get as far as they did this time, in the future. I did all that I could to save it, but I couldn't do it all on my own, and I can at least walk away knowing that I did try.
On the plus side, this past week, it's been beautiful!! The humidity and summer heat broke last week, and we have found ourselves chilly! After getting used to the 90's and muggy air, 60-70 degrees, and no humidity, gives you goosebumps. Mom and I even started a fire in the fireplace yesterday morning to take off the chill. I laughed at how pathetic we were, aren't we suppose to be hardcore northerners? I am turning into a bit of a southern pansy. Between the slight twangs on the ends of my words I keep catching myself say, and being cold in 65 degree weather (up north, that was shorts weather! hehe).

I don't know how long it will last, but I am loving this fall like weather!