Halloween Funny

Fixing the Headstone

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

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How to spot a Redneck on Halloween!

Q: How do you spot a red neck on Halloween?

A: He is wearing a Confederate uniform and gives the kids a bottle of Budweiser.

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Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old to Be Trick or Treating

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

8. You ask for high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.

5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.

Happy Halloween!

Hope everyone has a Spooktacular Halloween!!!

Friday Fill-Ins 17

BOO

Today is Friday, woohoo, and I don't think I have to remind anyone that it's the day before HALLOWEEN!! Another Friday Fill-In...Here we go...

1. It was a dark and stormy night, is how most horror movies begin.
2. Everyone was getting ready for trick-or-treating so I offered to take the books myself.
3. Rushing out, into the dark...something grabbed her from behind...yikes!.
4. The last full moon...I think I heard a howl!
5. Shhhh... I think I hear something.
6. Trick or a treat... give me something good to eat!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to same thing I have the last two weeks, tomorrow my plans include Halloween to-do's and Sunday, I want to find something to occupy myself, since the Pats are on a bye, darn it!

Quick Quote

I saw this quote, and I liked it...just thought I'd share. Goodness knows I haven't been writing on here nearly as much. Hasn't been much that's new to update anyone on...still the same ol' stuff so far. Hopin' that changes soon. Oh and I have been successful in selling one and a half gourdes! Woohoo, now let's see some more fly off the shelves! Okay, back to my point, here's that quote:

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.” -Peter Marshall.

Friday Fill-Ins 16

After having one of those bad days, I am now determined to treat this day like any other. Since today is Friday, that means it's time for another, Friday Fill-Ins...

1. Sweet dreams come to those that seek them.

2. It's just been one of those days...especially for me.

3. Silliness is a must in your life, just to keep your sanity.

4. We will have to make our own party this Halloween.

5. Outstanding or not no one is better then anyone else.

6. To forget today even happened is what I want right now!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to it comin' to an end quickly, tomorrow my plans include movie day and Sunday, I want to cheer on the Patriots, let's hope they get another win!

Southern Funny 11

Two Southern Ladies Talk

Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood, one from Georgia, the other from Alabama, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white pillared mansion.

The Georgia peach said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me."
The lady from Alabama commented. "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac you see parked in the drive. "Again, the belle from Alabama commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman boasted, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet. Yet again, the second of the ladies commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"

"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Alabama belle.

"Charm school, the first woman cried, "Land sakes, child, what on Earth for?"

The Alabamian responded, "So that instead of saying "Who gives a shit?" I learned to say, "Well, isn't that nice?"

Spankin' New Plummin'

Leave it to my parents...just going to the store to get a few things, and they come back with a new toilet! :-)

'Nough said.

Friday Fill-Ins 15

Still doing those Friday fill-ins!

1. One week ago things weren't much different then they are now.

2. I wish I did some things differently when I was young.

3. Mama told me always wear clean underwear, hah.

4. I wish things were different for you and me.

5. Take your time, life is too precious to rush through, savour those moments.

6. I know that this all will pass!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to movie night, and maybe the Red Sox game, tomorrow my plans include going to a GIANT antique show and Sunday, I want to get some stuff done, and then we will wait and see when our newest "visitor" arrives!

Gettin' Crafty

Well, fall has finally arrived! My favorite time of the year (besides Christmas of course). In between job hunting and studying, I've been trying to be productive. We were able to get ahold of an almost endless supply of dried gourds (thanks to where my mother works). Then we decided to put our crafty skills to good use, for profit this time!

Between ideas that came outta my head:

And pokin' around in magazines and such:

With some help getting the base color painted on (thanks mom)...I've painted a face on every one! Pheww! (I don't really like them all, but I like to think they got better as I went along.)

I only have a few more to finish. Now let's hope they sell well! Goodness knows I could use the cash right now! :-)

Friday Fill-Ins 14

Another Friday Fill-Ins :-)

1. My car is blue.
2. With some luck, a much needed trip to the mountains is coming up next.
3. Lately, things seem to be in limbo.
4. Lately, the hammock is one of my favorite 'hiding' places.
5. What happened in my life, that brought me here? I still ponder that sometimes.
6. Building a new life is not impossible!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to relaxin', tomorrow my plans include studying some more, and I dunno what else and Sunday, I want to maybe go to the movie theater!

Ho-Hum

Well, despite the obviously negative things that have been going on in my life. Being separated, moving from my home, and still looking for someone to give me a job. I've been trying to keep as positive as possible, also as busy as I can. Which hasn't been easy. Slowly getting a routine down here, and everyone (my pets) has gotten all settled in.

Trying for every job I can find. They are scarce down here, I keep hearing back about all the overwhelming responses employers are getting along with my own. And the only interviews I have gone on, are group interviews.
Nothing like showing up for an interview, asking for someone, being told to sit and wait, and watch 10-15 other people file in behind you, and ask for the same person!? Then have an interview with 10-15 other people in the same conference room with you. It's discouraging, but it must be done.

I am still building myself back up, and finding my footing again. Fighting my anxieties has begun to get easier. Going through all this is starting to really change me, the way I see things in this world, and the people in it. Stepping back this far has also given me a much bigger view of the way my life was a couple of months ago. I've realized I should of RUN away from it a long time ago, as fast as I could. I am just glad I am out of that situation now, instead of even later. It's hard to see how wrong, and completely upside-down things are when you are so close to it, and so far into it. Some people don't ever leave, I stayed for too long, because I was scared to leave. Facing all this, I have gotten stronger, and I will never put myself in that situation again. I would hope I see the signs way before they get as far as they did this time, in the future. I did all that I could to save it, but I couldn't do it all on my own, and I can at least walk away knowing that I did try.
On the plus side, this past week, it's been beautiful!! The humidity and summer heat broke last week, and we have found ourselves chilly! After getting used to the 90's and muggy air, 60-70 degrees, and no humidity, gives you goosebumps. Mom and I even started a fire in the fireplace yesterday morning to take off the chill. I laughed at how pathetic we were, aren't we suppose to be hardcore northerners? I am turning into a bit of a southern pansy. Between the slight twangs on the ends of my words I keep catching myself say, and being cold in 65 degree weather (up north, that was shorts weather! hehe).

I don't know how long it will last, but I am loving this fall like weather!

Friday Fill-Ins 13

Well, it's Friday, so that can only mean one thing...time for another Friday Fill-In!


1. I remember, I remember what it was like to be happy.

2. Dear Family I want you to know I am grateful for all that you have done for me, and I will never forget it.

3. Is that my dog, peeing on Boston's head!!???

4. I'm trying to resist the temptation of drowning everything outside with the hose, we need rain!

5. I'm saving a hug just for you!

6. If I made a birthday list alot of things would definitely be on it!!!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to maybe watchin' a movie, tomorrow my plans include whatever I want, not really sure yet and Sunday, I want to take a lil trip further south, and meet some family I don't even think I've met yet!

Southern Funny 10

Billy Bob Dies

A woman from the deepest, most southern part of Alabama goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is a dollar per word.
She pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read, 'Billy Bob died'."
Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor says, "Sorry ma'am there is a seven word minimum on all obituaries."
A little flustered, she thinks things over and replies, "In that case, let it read, 'Billy Bob died - 1983 Pick-up for sale'."

The NC Zoo

While we had visitors, we went to the NC Zoo!!

My first time...it was 95+ degrees out and of course had that NC humidity!!! But we survived it...and I saw everything, just as I said I would! Thank goodness this zoo is so well set up, and has alot of shade, also alot of drinking fountains. Spent alot of time refilling our water bottles with those! It was worth all the sweat, it was beautiful!! The park is divided up into two 'continents': Africa and North America, over all it's 5 miles of trails. I took over 200 photos, that was easy to do, here are just some of them...

First thing we saw was our pink friends outside the aviary.
Pretty in Pink :-)
Then we headed into the aviary...its like a huge tropical greenhouse, full of plants and birds!
I know those people :-) Let's see, there was Mom, Dad, Sheila, Uncle Kenny, Beepa, Kenny, Katelynn, and of course myself. Pheww, there was a bunch of us to keep track of :-)
Did I mention it was pretty?
Even had pineapples.


Everywhere you looked there was something else to see.
This is a banana tree, and its flower.
On our way out....

We then headed to Africa: saw some baboons.

Miss Gorilla. We won't mention what she was doing :-)

A type of eagle native to Africa.
A wide view of some of the park that the rhinos and elephants and others call home.
They opened a giraffe feeding deck, you get to see them very close up. This 1 year old giraffe was hangin' out.

Along with the zebras.

While observing the wildlife, we had to point out Uncle Kenny's fashionable fanny-pack, hehehe.

Elephant!!

Next was the Sonora Desert...some of our group didn't want to enter, in fear of more heat. Myself and a couple others were brave enough to enter...thank goodness we did, to keep the humidity out of the 'desert' they have the a/c on!!! We immediately gathered up the rest of our group and hustled them in, they were very grateful.
I don't remember what kinda kitty she was, but she was gorgeous! We were all gathering around the glass to her enclosure to try and cut some of the glare to get a better picture of her.

Uncle Kenny and Kenny trying to spy a black widow spider!
The lion was airing out all his goods, hehe.

Next we headed to North America:

Can you see the bear?? *Hint: he was keepin' cool under the waterfall.

The bison were not shy...they stood and posed for us.

Otters! Love these guys...and the heat wasn't bothering them, they were running around, in and outta the water. Here they took a quick break to groom before running around again.

The puffins...they were cute, but I couldn't get a good picture of them. Between the glass they splashed all over and the quick movements they made...my camera wasn't likin' it...but I liked this shot, mostly cuz of the kelp.

Bobcats...they got very close to us, as you can see.

Pretty kitties.

Sunbathing...a favorite pastime at the zoo.

Beyond the two sea lions, the harbor seals were veggin' out after a dip.

Who could forget Mr. Polar Bear?

He too went for a swim.

Last but not least...alligators.

There was sooo much more that we saw. We had alot of fun. Can't wait to go again!