Southern Funny 6

GUIDE TO SOUTHERN TALK

The Southern vocabulary is similar to the rest of the Nation's - it only sounds different. The following is a sample to help all Yankees, in hope that it will teach them how to talk right. (More like, so we Yankees can understand those Southerners.)

Ah - The things you see with.
Aig - Which came first, the chicken or the aig?
Arn - An electrical instrument used to remove wrinkles from clothing.
Bawl - What water does when it's hot.
Bidness - The art of selling something for more than you paid for it.
Bobbycue - A delectable Southern sandwich of chopped pork, cole slaw, and a fiery sauce.
Bud - Small feathered creature that flies.
Cheer - A piece of furniture with four legs, used for sitting.
Chekatawfarya - A service asked at gas stations in small southern towns.
Co-Cola - Soft drink.
Crine - Weeping.
Dawfins - Name of the professional football team in Miami.
Daints - A more or less formal event in which members of the opposite sex hold each other and move rhythmically to music.
Doc - A condition caused by the absence of light.
Etlanna - The city General Sherman burned during the war for Southern independence.
Everthang - All-encompassing.
Far - A state of combustion that produces heat and light.
Foller - Spies and private detectives spend a lot of time doing this.
Git - To acquire.
Goff- A game played with clubs and a little white ball.
Gull - A young female.
Hale - Where General Sherman went for what he did to Etlanna.
Hep - To aid or benefit.
Idinit - "Mighty hot today, idinit?"
Keer - To be concerned.
Lieberry - A building containing thousands of literary works.
Moanin - Between daybreak and noon.
Motuhsickle - A two-wheeled missile with a powerful engine.
Munts - The 12 units into which the calendar year is divided.
Nawth - Any part of the country above the south.
Nekkid - To be unclothed.
Ovair - In that direction.
Phrasin - Very cold.
Pitcher - An image, either drawn or photographed.
Sebmup - Clear soft drink similar to ginger ale.
Show - "It show is hot today."
Spearmint - Something scientist do.
Stow - Place where things are sold.
Tal - What you dry off with after you take a share.
Tar - Round inflatable object that sometimes goes flat on your car.
Uhmukin - Someone who lives in the United States of Uhmurka.
Zackly - Precisely.